Years ago I was a Astronomy undergraduate at UCL, repeatedly crashing a Sun 3/160 (running realio trulio 4.2BSD no less) which I was charged to look after, by teaching myself network programming in pursuit of writing a multi-user dungeon; one byte in the wrong place and *boom* – the kernel panicked. Jon Crowcroft himself explained to me how select(2) worked, and gradually I learned how to write code that didn’t bring Unix down.

So I wrote a little filk the chorus of which became popular, back in the days when the Web was USENET:

Goodbye my shell, it’s hard to “vi”,
I cannot socket(), even though I try,
Everything keeps going wrong…
It needs a bind() to carry on,
Proc’ table’s been full for too long.

Chorus:
We had Joy, We had fun,
We were fork()ing on a Sun,
but the joy is all gone,
’til the processes are Done [1].

The more astute amongst my former colleagues may be able to work out what my bug was from the lyric; in light of recent news I should perhaps revise the chorus to:

We had joy, we had fun,
we were all working at Sun,
but the company’s gone
now that Ellison has won.

…or somesuch.

However the following is not mine; I was merely forwarded it samizdat-style from one of my sources (ahem) without attribution; my personal opinion is that it’s good but forced a little too close to the original lyrics – but it is worth sharing, and if the author wishes to make themselves known in the comments I will gladly attribute.

The thing that comes through strongest, though, is that… well, how many companies employ folk who would pen eulogies like this? I can’t imagine Merrill’s employees doing similar with any sense of loyalty or sadness.

Best, guys.

Sun Good-Bye ; based on American Pie by Don McLean

A long, long time ago….
I can still remember when
Unix used to make them smile.
And we knew that if we had a chance
Sun could make those networks dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But DEC and Apollo make us shiver
With every workstation they’d deliver.
Competition camped out on doorsteps
We had to fight for each step.

I remember how hard we tried
To win each system that they buy
Yes, something touched me deep inside
The day Sun Microsystems died.

[chorus:]
So bye-bye, dear ‘ole S–M–I
We drove those networks to the limit
And made applications fly!!
Them corporate boys have kissed Sun good-bye,
Singing, “Time to give Oracle a try.
Time to give Oracle a try!!”

Have you heard of Solaris OS?
And do you believe in Open Source?
If the European Union tells you so…..
Do you have faith in MySQL?
Can Java save your mortal soul?
And, can you keep data from moving slow….

Well, I know that Larry’s in the groove
`cause I saw his keynote on You-Tube.
Oracle and Sun have hit the news!!
Man, I dig them targeting Big Blue.

I was a great Sun Sales Rep kicking butt
With a SPARC based server and tons of spunk
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the Sun Microsystems died.

[chorus]

For nearly 27 years we’ve been on our own
Now our revenue’s gone down and confidence is blown.
But, that’s not how it used to be.
When Scott ruled with Ed and Joe,
And installed systems around the globe
With a OS that came from BSD….

Oh, and while Scott was flying around,
The jester grabbed his SMI crown.
The stock-holders were concerned;
The SUNW brand was over turned.

While Jonathan played his agenda in the dark,
IBIS ran in stops and starts,
We just kept selling Solaris and Sparc
The day Sun Microystems died.

[chorus]

Re-orgs and RIFs in a March disaster.
The IBM bid fell upon us in a news flash after
Analysts screamed high and then fell fast……
IBM’s bid landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for an Oracle pass,
With the European Union looking on aghast.

This acquisition news was sweet perfume.
The industry spun up many tunes.
The Stock holders all lined up to dance,
But…they never got the chance!
`cause when Oracle tried to take the field;
The European Union refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the day Sun Microsystems died?

[chorus]

So, now we are all here in one place,
An acquisition stuck in space
With no time left to start again.
So, Larry be nimble, Larry be quick!
Use your brains and might and wit,
‘Cause profit is the market’s only friend.

As this plays out on the world stage
My hands are clenched in fists of rage.
Can this angel born in hell
Break those devils’ spell?
Our company falls deeper every night
And crumbles under this burdensome rite,
I saw the competition laughing with delight
The day Sun Microsystems died.

[chorus]

I met a guy who wrote some code
And I asked him what the future bodes,
But he just smiled and typed away.
So, I went on to the Inter Net
Where I’d played with Sun years before,
But the sites there said that Sun had gone away.

And in the streets: the customers screamed,
The partners cried, and the programmers dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The systems all were broken.
And those groups I admire most:
The Engineers, Sales Reps and Service folks,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day Sun Microsytems died.

[chorus x2]