Trying to encapsulate the essence of corporate management as I have experienced it:

• i have a differing opinion.
• you are challenging.
• he is not a team player.
• we are this close to delivery.
• they are being laid off.

• I demonstrate leadership.
• you have an dynamic perspective.
• he is an asshole.
• we have got funding.
• they couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.

• i had this idea and lashed up a solution over the weekend.
• you deserve a bonus but we don’t have any budget for that.
• he demonstrates the excellence that i foster in all the members of my team.
• we need more resources to deploy the solution.
• they are having their budget cut by 10% to reduce overheads.

• i don’t understand the problem but need to be seen to be making a contribution to its solution.
• you should organise a weekly meeting to address the issue.
• he has scheduled a global con-call at 1am/7am/9pm.
• we are bringing-in a consultancy that knows how to solve this problem.
• they have adopted a six-sigma process and will tell us the result next FY.

– I think that’s a fair start.

ps: I know it’s not quite grammatically correct, but it’s a framework…