Scene: chocolate shop in Chelsea; a Royal Mail postman walks in…

Postman: Ah – [indicating my bike and then me] – a Bromptonista!

Me: Yes, and you?

Postman: No, I’m a Birdyist.

[beat pause]

Me: Come, friend, let us settle our differences and wage war upon the Dahonites!

[exeunt, with hilarity]